I am reading a very poignant and challenging book right now–actually for the second time–called “Shattered Dreams” by Larry Crabb. I read it in college and it brought me much encouragement and insight, but what I gleaned from the book in those early adulthood years pales in comparison to the way it pierces and moves me now. Having gone through so much more life experience, having a husband and a son with whom I’ve gone through total upheaval in the last year, and having our beginnings into familyhood (I know that’s not a real word, but I’d like it to be so I’m just going to say it that way) look very different than we’d imagined.
Physically, financially, mentally, and spiritually we have been treading new waters.
And it has not been a leisurely boat ride on a blissful sea. It has been an experience of clinging to each other and to Christ, sending out our dove with trembling faith waiting for its Olive Branch return.
There is a segment I read the other day from the book with which I resonated deeply. It comes from a letter written to Larry Crabb from his friend David Shepherd, (“Shattered Dreams” pg. 161).
“Faith, as I am growing to understand it more, is about looking beyond my circumstances to a person. To have faith in better circumstances, even in God creating better circumstances, is not true faith. I want to be the kind of man who can watch every dream go down in flames and still yearn to be intimately involved in kingdom living, intimately involved with my friend the King, and still be willing to take another risk just because it delights Him for me to do so. And my flesh shivers to think about it”
Oh Lord, it is true. I too can say “my flesh shivers” to contemplate this type of faith– especially in this time while facing uncertainties and difficulties. Father full of perfect Grace, forgive my fear and garnish me with Courage and Peace. Strengthen my faith like your servant Job who said, “Though You slay me, yet will I hope in You.”