As I begin Project Unplug this weekend, (my year long journey away from social media and into my own story–my real, gritty, imperfect, un-glamorous yet glorious story) I want to preface my documentation.
Some might wonder why I would open my guts, expose all that is not always lovely to see, admit the struggles, show this unwashed face, grapple with insecurities, and offer embarrassing confessions in public view. Why would I tell my story aloud? Or why not just reveal the highlights? The things we all like to show off–the things I’m proud of. That’s what’s socially accepted and celebrated, right? Will doing differently make me uncomfortable? Yes. Yes it will. Then why do it?
The question reverberates…
My answer is this: I have always been an open book. A story to be told. Even when I have told myself, “Lauren, this time why don’t you just NOT share! Just quietly observe and reflect and if you must speak, be subtle and discreet and don’t reveal the whole story–it’s not required!” Yet, never can I follow through with this mandate. It goes against my every fiber.
I believe God created me as a Story Teller.
It is how I am designed, and though I love to tell many types of stories, the one that God has most equipped me to share is my own. I resonate with Job in the Scriptures when he says, “Let my life be written on a scroll..” because I believe it is God who is my author, and Jesus my Savior not only secures my soul for eternity, but He redeems every portion of my life daily as I walk through this broken world.
I see my life, and all I go through, as a testimony.
I share these writings in that spirit. That as God works through my mess with his Artist Hands, not just I, but all will see His mastery and redemption. Every masterpiece must have shadows and highlights. I always told my art students that the deeper the shadow the more radiant the lighting. This is true too in the human life. Mine is no exception. My life is not to be lived unto myself, it is to be lived as a lantern.
Flames may sometimes burn, but they also set the darkness ablaze with light. I display my weakness that Christ’s strength may be revealed. I believe His beauty radiates from honesty and vulnerability. This is something I sincerely affirm as I listen to others’ stories, and therefore I must believe it in my own. Can I embrace the messy truth of others’ lives while hiding mine? This would be disingenuous at best.
Lastly, I believe in sharing my story, there is great blessing. Mine is not the type of blog that has “Readers”, but there may be someone here or there who stumbles across my words. Maybe it will encourage someone else who is struggling through similar obstacles, or affirm those who experience the same victories. For sure it brings me accountability, freedom through confession, and fulfillment in living out what I was made to do–tell and write Stories–regardless of who, if any, listen.
It’s about being obedient to the way God designed me. Whether or not someone reads or likes it is not really the point, though I hope God will use my testimony to spread His love and encouragement to whom He knows can be blessed by it.
Peace to you if you have found yourself here. Take away what you will, and feel free to share your own thoughts and stories.